


Immer Sie

by Nixiie



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Boys In Love, Established Relationship, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Human/Vampire Relationship, Kissing, M/M, Maybe just a tiny bit of plot?, POV Alternating, POV First Person, POV Simon, POV Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, Rimming, SnowBaz, bottom!baz, top!Simon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 23:01:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18291974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nixiie/pseuds/Nixiie
Summary: Simon and Baz have been dating for about 6 months, and they still haven't really progressed beyond kissing. Baz is kind of (more than kind of) falling apart about it. Simon is clueless, as usual. A conversation is had, and tension is finally released.





	Immer Sie

**Baz**

I’m going to die kissing Simon Snow. I’ve thought that before; but this time there’s no blazing inferno, no forest fire threatening to incinerate us. I’m not pathetically trying to commit suicide because i have _issues_ , though it does sometimes feel like it. No, i’m going to die kissing Simon Snow because all we bloody do is kiss, and even though i love every second of it, i don’t know how much longer i can stand this.

 

He’s so hot under my hands, like fire, like the sun. I’ve been orbiting him since we were children. And now he’s here, i’m touching him, sitting in his lap, kissing him. Crowley, why can’t this be enough? _What is wrong with me?_ Why can’t i just enjoy this? His arms are wrapped around my back, his tongue moving in my mouth, his body deliciously hot against mine, melting me. It’s all i ever wanted, all those years of daydreaming about running my fingers through his curls, of feeling his mouth on my neck, of kissing him… I’m so pathetic I’ve been trying to wank this boy out of my head for years, and now he’s here all wrapped around me and i’m still not satisfied. Apparently i’m _impossible_.

 

**Simon**

I can tell something is bothering Baz and i don’t know what to do. I’m so crap at this being a boyfriend. I just want to make him happy. I wish i knew what to say to him, how to fix whatever this is, but i’m not exactly good at fixing things, and i have no idea. It was easy when we were fighting, i just got angry and went off and that was that. I was a blunt instrument, a bomb, i had no finesse. And now... Now i’m not anything anymore. So i keep kissing him. It’s distracted him enough before...

 

His lips are cool and firm and he tastes like smoke, and boy, and also like comfort. Like the happy ending neither of us thought we would get. I pull him closer, tangling my fingers in his dark hair and feel his breath catch, feel him shiver and sigh into my mouth, his whole body relaxing into me. _There it is, i’ve got him now_.

 

But then he yanks his head back and shifts off my lap, turning to glare at me. “Enough Snow,” he snaps, “You’re very cute and all but some of us have places to be.”

 

He doesn’t. Or at least i don’t think he does. Something is bothering him, and he doesn’t want to tell me so he’s being an ass. It’s always like this. I don’t understand him. I think i love him, but Merlin, i do not understand him.

 

“Baz, what’s wrong?” He just glares at me. “C’mon, there’s obviously something bothering you…”

 

**Baz**

“And you think you can just fix whatever is wrong in my life with your mouth Snow? Crowley you’re thick” _Why did i just snap at him?_ What is wrong with me? Snow’s innocence is infuriating, and i am justifiably tense, but he deserves better than that. He’s trying to be sweet, even if he’s an idiot. But i don’t want to be having this fucking conversation.

 

I wanted to keep my need from him. I need to let him take this at his own pace. He’s been through so much already, and i really, really don’t want to make him deal with my problems and his own sexuality as well. I wanted to keep this hidden, but apparently i’m so pathetic that i couldn’t even manage that.

 

And how am i supposed to say to him, _‘I know you're not sure if you’re gay, and you probably don’t even want to do anything more than kiss me, because i’m a boy, and a fucking monster, and well a lot of things, but i’m so horny right now i might literally die if we don’t stop.’_

 

I sigh, “Look Snow…”

 

“Simon”

 

“Look _Simon_ , kissing you is what’s bothering me.” He looks like the sun just went out. _Oh fuck, i am a monster._ Shit. _Shit_ . “That’s not what i meant. Sorry.” I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself, trying not to die of embarrassment. “Look, i’m a boy right? I’m nineteen and i’m so hopelessly attracted to you that you’re all i’ve been fantasizing about since i was eleven. Hell, you’re part of what made me realize i was gay…” I can’t look at him. “We’ve been snogging for what six months? And don’t get me wrong, it’s literally a dream come true, but all we really do is snog…” This is awful. This is a fucking travesty. I can’t believe i’m saying this out loud. “And i understand that you need to take this slow, and i really don’t want to push you, but sometimes i need to… back off and collect myself.” _Because i’m so hard it hurts and it’s honestly bloody embarrassing._

 

He turns bright red. “Oh, uh, um… well… uh…” He clears his throat. “You mean uhhh… You mean you want to do more? Like umm, like you want to have sex?”

 

Bloody hell, “Yes Snow, i want to have sex. With you.” There, i said it. And now he’s going to tell me he’s not gay, and this will all be over, and i may as well accept that i’ve just ruined all my dreams, because i’m pathetic and desperate. But let’s be honest, this was all just a fantasy anyway, i was always destined for misery.

 

“Okay”

 

What? _What?_ “Okay..?”

 

“Yeah,” he says, “Okay. I mean, it’s not like i haven’t thought about it, but well, there’s a lot on my mind these days, like you know, _having a tail_ , and _not_ having magic, and… killing The Mage.” He looks a little flustered, but also determined, “And who i even am if i’m not the Chosen One…” He runs his hand through his hair, and looks at me with that beautiful, soft eyed face i would happily die for. Crowley he makes me such an idiot. “Sex is just another thing that i don’t know how to think about, so i just don’t,” his voice goes softer, ”I’m not used to getting to choose, to having to choose. I’ve always just done what’s expected. It’s easier that way.” He looks so lost. I just want to kiss him, but he’s still speaking so that would be very rude. “And now i don’t know what i want, so i just don’t think.”

 

“How can you just not think about sex?” I ask. I’m a little bit exasperated. How can any teenage boy not think about sex? For once i’m the normal one here; right? “How can you not know if you want it?”

 

“Dunno,” he says.

 

 _He said yes_. Well he said okay. He said okay! But i shove down my elation because i am not thinking with my head right now. He said he doesn’t even know if he wants this, he said he just does what’s expected. _I can’t let him just do this because i want to._

 

“I have to leave.” I stand up and start for the door.

 

“Wait! Baz,” he says, “No.”

 

“Simon, i’m not going to let you have sex with me just because i want to. I’m not a monster.” At least i’m trying not to be, but if he keeps looking at me like that i’m not going to be able to control myself.

 

“Baz _i_ want to.” He’s flushed, and it’s almost a whimper, and he’s just making this worse.

 

“You’re not even gay Snow”

 

“Who cares? I’m your boyfriend aren’t i? That’s well gay… I guess i’m bisexual, whatever, and just because thinking about sex freaks me out doesn’t mean i don’t want to do it.”

 

**Simon**

I do want it. I want him. I’ve been pushing it down, trying to ignore it for a while now. I don’t know what it means to have sex with a boy, with Baz; i don’t know what i’m doing, but not thinking about Baz is impossible, and more that that, it’s stupid. He’s here, he wants me. He wants me so much he’s about to leave so he doesn’t accidentally push me. I can have him. _I’m allowed to want this_.

 

I jump to my feet and grab him, pulling him into me and forcing my tongue into his mouth.  Suddenly i’m so hungry for him. _How long have i been holding this back?_ He drops his coat in shock, and then he’s responding, frantic, burying his hands in my hair, and moaning into my mouth, pushing his whole body into me.

 

**Baz**

I’m kissing Simon Snow again. I’ve kissed him a lot over the last six months, but not like this. Never like this. It’s like a switch has flipped in his head and he wants it now, he’s not just going through the motions, he’s devouring me.

 

**Simon**

I’m not being sweet like earlier, not gentle. I need to show him how much i want him. I need him to see that i need this too.

 

**Baz**

He moves his tongue frantically in my mouth, and his hands are everywhere, working their way up under my shirt. His touch is always so hot, (probably because i’m dead) but it just makes this even better, like i could melt into him, lose myself completely in his flames.

 

I tangle my fingers in his hair and kiss him back hard, meeting his intensity with my own. I didn’t know he was capable of this, of wanting me like this. I shouldn’t be surprised though. I should know by now that he’s capable of anything.

 

**Simon**

I kiss his mouth, his jaw, his face, his neck, running my tongue along his collarbone, and feeling him shiver against me. Crowley he’s fit, i can feel every tense muscle as he clings to me. I grab his ass and squeeze, edging one knee between his legs and pressing into him, harder. I’m frantic. I _want_ him.

 

**Baz**

If he wasn’t all wrapped around me right now i think i might fall over. My knees are weak, and i’m moaning into his mouth, embarrassing, but i don’t care. If i’ve ever had a weakness, Merlin knows it’s Snow. I’m a mess for him.

 

I need to do something about this falling over situation before we hit the floor though, and i still want to feel more of him, so i take him by the shoulders and start to push him backwards towards the couch. We keep kissing as we stumble, me pressing him back with my whole body, making him move. I grab his ass and squeeze, like he was doing mine, and he startles a bit, breaking the kiss, but we’re close enough to the couch now and i push him back onto it. He watches me wide eyed and i quickly unbutton my shirt and throw it aside, climbing into his lap and straddling him.

 

**Simon**

I’m trying to think if i’ve ever seen Baz shirtless before. We shared a room for eight years. Surely i must have. But he always changed in the bathroom, and _if_ i’ve ever seen this, i obviously never appreciated it properly because he’s stunning. Pale greyish skin stretched tight over lean muscle, all sharp angles, and chiseled lines. His body is so different than mine, leaner, taller, paler, and i just want to touch all of it. Lick all of it. Fuck. He is so hot it’s unbelievable.

 

“Is this okay?” he asks, tugging at my T-shirt. I swallow hard and nod, helping him pull it over my head. But it turns out it’s not just okay. It’s amazing. Feeling his cool skin sliding against mine, hearing his breath catch as i run my tongue over his ear and down his neck. He whimpers as i kiss the delicate skin, then suck it into my mouth, kissing with my tongue and teeth as he writhes in my lap. Okay i _really_ like him like this, soft and needy under my hands. I like having this effect on him. It’s so different than the normal Baz, all sharp angles and sharper tongue. I think i’ve been dreaming about this. I think i’ve wanted him this way for a long time.

 

I wrap my arms around his back, pulling him closer. I want to get lost in him, forget everything except his skin, and his mouth, and the glazed look in his eyes.

 

**Baz**

He’s holding me so tightly, it’s kind of sweet, but his mouth on my neck is anything but. It’s wicked, sending waves of pleasure down my spine and raising goosebumps over half my body as i shiver against him. I wonder if it will bruise. I wonder if i even can bruise. I want it to bruise. _I want him to mark me._ Crowley i’m sick.

 

**Simon**

Baz is shivering and whimpering, and seeing him like this is really turning me on. The way he’s grinding and writhing in my lab doesn’t hurt either. I’m getting hard, my cock growing and pulsing with the friction of him against me. I moan and grind into him, wanting to feel more, making my need obvious. He shouldn’t be surprised, _of course i’m hard, how could i not be?_ Just look at him. But he tenses and i look up to see shock cross his face, and then quickly be replaced with something like triumph. He gives me a wicked smile and grinds down on me harder, rocking his hips and making me gasp. I guess he also likes knowing what he’s doing to me. Well if it makes him react like that i’ll bloody show him how much he turns me on. I let my voice get loud, and grip him tightly, squeezing him to me, burying my face in his neck and thrusting my hips up into him.

 

Fuck i want him. He feels so good. He’s hard too, i can feel it pressing into my stomach, and i think that should freak me out, but instead it turns me on more. Maybe i am gay. I think i want to suck Baz’s dick. Does that make me gay? I was always too distracted to get this far with Agatha. Did i ever even want to? Did i think about it? I guess it doesn’t matter, i definitely want this. I definitely want Baz. I want to run my mouth over every inch of him. He’s fucking intoxicating.

 

But Baz has other ideas. He squirms out of my grip and slides back, pushing his arm between us and grabbing the bulge in my joggers. _Oh fuck_. He slips his fingers into my waistband and looks at me with a question. I nod again, not trusting my voice, and he lifts the elastic away, exposing me. I shut my eyes and concentrate on remembering to breathe. I feel him shift to pull my bottoms down a bit, then he takes me in his hand, and sparks shoot through my whole body, exploding behind my eyelids. And then he’s stroking me, and leaning forward to kiss me again, and it feels like i could catch fire at any moment. I can’t move. I’m paralyzed by the pleasure of his touch, the feel of his mouth on mine. I just gasp and moan against him and let him have me. I’m his. I’m lost to him.

 

**Baz**

I have Snow’s cock in my hand. I truly lead a charmed life. And that blissful look on his face is better than i could have imagined. Because i’ve definitely imagined this, this and a whole lot more than this; but the reality is incinerating all my fantasies, because there’s no way i could have pictured Snow this needy, this _loud_.

 

He’s gasping, moaning, golden skin flushed, that adorable mole by his eye disappearing in a crease and he squeezes his eyes shut. I wonder how some other things stack up against my imagination. His cock is just as good, i tried not to think about it in too much detail (because somehow that was weird, even though wanking to my roommate/sworn enemy was fine), but the reality is definitely amazing. He’s not as big as me (ha, maybe someday i’ll rub that in), but he’s long and hard, and his golden skin fades to almost purple at the tip. _I really want to see how it feels in my mouth..._

 

I start to work my way down. Kissing from his mouth to his jaw, and then focusing for a while on his neck as he goans and rocks beneath me. I kiss lower, working my lips over his chest, licking at a nipple, and then down to his belly. I slide backwards off his legs, and by the time my mouth reaches his hips he’s shaking, shivering under my tongue. I can can almost taste his pulse as i run my nose through his treasure trail, and i’m glad i’ve fed recently, because something in the back of my mind is screaming at me that biting into him would be heaven. I ignore it. I’m about to taste plenty of him. I want his blood to stay on the inside.

 

I kneeling on the floor in front of him. He’s wide eyed, disbelieving, but he doesn’t say anything, just nods again _(use your words Simon!)_ . But he doesn’t need to, and i take him in my mouth, and oh Crowley this is way better than i could have possibly imagined. His hands ball into fists on either side of me, and he’s moaning, whole body tense as he stretches all the way to the back of my throat. I moan a little too. He tastes amazing, like salt, and desire, and blood, and _boy_ . He may not be gay (this is pretty fucking gay…) but _i_ certainly am, and i love this. I’ve been dreaming about cock (specifically his cock) for years.

 

I move my head, sliding up and down his length, working my tongue over the head. I don’t really know what i’m doing, it’s not like i have any experience outside my imagination, but it seems to be working because he’s shaking, rocking his hips into my mouth, eyes squeezed shut, with that amazing blissful look slipping into a needy pout.

 

I lose focus for a while, getting lost in the taste of him, the steady rhythm of my mouth and his gasping breaths, the rush of blood under his skin; the feel of him between my lips erasing my mind. He puts a hand in my hair, and i look up at him, licking up the underside of his cock as i gaze into his welling blue eyes.

 

“Baz… you’re so sexy,” he says, and immediately turns completely red. _Ok, that was adorable._ I can feel myself grinning, and i take him back in my mouth, sucking lightly on the head of his cock, and swirling my tongue over it. Yep, this is awesome. Blowjobs are definitely even better than i imagined, and he just called me sexy.

 

**Simon**

Fuck he feels good. I didn’t know anything could feel this good. His mouth is slick and tight around me, his tongue is soft and teasing, and i think i can feel his fangs sliding down the sides of my shaft, which should probably scare me, but is actually kind of hot… ( _i’ll think about that later)_. I feel a warm tension building inside me as my vision fades in and out. I can’t believe i just said he was sexy…  But he is sexy. He’s amazingly sexy, and handsome… beautiful… wow. He’s incredible. I think i’m in love with him. How could i not be in love with him? Look at him, he’s… Baz.

 

**Baz**

Snow is really beet red, complicated emotions playing across his face. “...Stop,” he says. That idiot. Did he really just embarrass himself so much by calling me sexy that we have to stop doing this? I don’t want to stop. I want to make him cum. I want to taste it and feel him shake as he fills my mouth with it. _Fuck_. I pull off and look up at him, trying not to go cold in my disappointment.

 

“Baz i want a turn”

 

What?

 

My brain reels trying to recover from this swift kick to my expectations. What does he mean he wants a turn? He grabs me and hauls me up onto the couch next to him. I land gracelessly and he goes for my fly, undoing it quickly and pulling out my achingly hard cock. He looks at it hungrily. Oh… Ohhhh! He meant… “-unf!”

 

**Simon**

Baz gasps as i fit my mouth over his cock. It’s big; why am i not surprised? But it feels good in my mouth, feels right. He’s blushing too now, as much as a vampire can blush, and it’s really fucking cute. I could get used to seeing him like this, horny and squirming, wanting me.

 

I have no idea what i’m doing, so i try to copy what he did to me, sucking, licking, bobbing my head up and down. He’s really big, it’s a lot to work with, and It’s awkward bending over like this, so i pull back and swing both of his legs up onto the couch. He’s lying on his back and i settle myself between his knees. I take him back in my mouth and continue, wrapping one hand around the base to stroke him while i focus my tongue on the head.

 

**Baz**

I’m not sure i haven’t died. This must be heaven. There’s no way i’d go to heaven though, so maybe i’m dreaming. Either way this can’t be real. Simon Snow can not be blowing me right now. But i don’t care if i’m dreaming, because this is the best dream i’ve ever had.

 

**Simon**

Okay, i really like this. I like how he tastes, like sweat and ash and...concrete? Like boy, but also like vampire. I like the taste of vampire, i taste it when we kiss, and on his skin, and here… especially here. I like the way he’s moaning, writhing on the couch, head thrown back. I like how his hips are jerking and his legs shake and twitch as he obviously tries to control himself. I like doing this to him. I like being this to him. I want to give him more, make him feel more, take him apart one gasping breath at a time.

 

**Baz**

_I can’t.. I.. fuck_. Snow’s mouth is so hot. So incredibly perfectly slick. I’m burning up. He’s doing things with his tongue that i can’t even describe and it’s driving me absolutely insane, pushing me to the brink of awareness. I’m making embarrassing noises now, trying so hard to control the urge to grab him by the back of the head, to force myself further into his throat. I want more. Always more. There’s a heat coiling in the base of my stomach, and i feel the edge i’m creeping towards, so enticing, and still so painfully out of reach. I need it. I feel so empty. I want him inside me.

 

I may not have done _this_ before, but i know what i like. I’ve had a lot of practice on my own… My entrance is tingling. I want to be touched, teased, penetrated. I want to be _taken._ I reach down to touch myself. “Is this ok Snow?” i ask, “i want to feel it... here.” He stills for a moment, considering, as i look down at him in anticipation, body burning with embarrassment and need. Then he shakes his head. _Shit.._ . What? He’s giving me a blowjob but touching my own asshole is too much? Why draw the line there? _This boy is impossible_.

 

...Or maybe i’m just a pervert. I shouldn't have thought… Shouldn’t have expected...

 

He pulls off me. _Shit_ . I guess i finally scared him off. I just wanted… I guess it doesn’t matter what i wanted. I throw my head back in disappointment, and then a wave of intense pleasure shoots through me, spearing me from the inside out.   _He’s_ doing it. He’s touching my ass. _With his tongue._

 

**Simon**

I just want more of Baz in my mouth. I want to taste all of him, feel all of him. Everything about him is turning me on and i just want more of it. _Merlin_. He is so hot. I can’t help myself. He’s literally intoxicating, i can’t think straight anymore. I just want to keep making him make those noises, keep filling my senses with him.

 

I work my tongue down, deeper between his legs, licking everything i can reach, kissing and tonguing at his hole. I’m good at kissing, he’s told me that before, and it looks like it translates, because he’s coming apart at the seams. His breath has gone ragged, his whimpering moans shifting to low wanton sobs, his whole body relaxing, giving in to the pleasure.  

 

**Baz**

I am an absolute mess. This can’t be happening. This is happening. Snow is eating my ass, and even my wildest fantasies never got this far. I try to collect myself but i can’t. I’m keening, rocking into him, shaking with pleasure. His hand is still wrapped around my dick, gently squeezing as he works his tongue into me. It’s too much, wet and hot, sending tingling sparks through me with every motion, every teasing thrust at my entrance. My whole body is wracked with shivers as pleasure and need work their way thought me. I never knew this would feel so good. I’m so sensitive, so ready, black spots exploding in my vision as i shake with desperate desire.

 

“-mmmmnnn! Please fuck me!” I gasp. It’s what i want, but i definitely didn’t just mean to say it. Simon has completely disarmed me. My years of coldness, and sarcasm, and cruelty cleaved apart, leaving me a gibbering mess who can actually say what i mean. I trust him, i realize. I always doubt him (because he’s an idiot) because i’ve been hiding this from him for so long, but i really can trust him. I can relax. He’s mine, and he’s here, and he’s choosing this. Choosing me. I’m not a monster, i’m his boyfriend… and i want him inside me.

 

**Simon**

I look up at Baz. He’s gone red, like as red as a vampire can possibly go. He’s embarrassed, but he also looks kind of serene. Like he’s come through something and now he can let go.

 

“Okay,” i say, “but i don’t know how.” He smiles, and it’s tender, relieved. It’s so rare to see him gentle like this. He’s so beautiful.

 

I want him. I really really want him. I’ve been so focused on his body, his responses, that i’ve lost track of my own. When i come back to myself i realize how hard i am, and groan, my hand going to my cock almost on instinct. I don’t know if i’ve ever been this hard. Just touching myself makes me shiver and lose focus.

 

“Fingers,” he breathes, “start with fingers. No, wait, let’s get out of these first.” He indicates our bottoms, mine pulled low on my hips, his skinny jeans around his ankles. That breaks the tension a little bit and i feel myself grinning. “Whatever you say Baz. Just tell me what to do.”

 

**Baz**

It’s not as if i know what to do, not really, not with another person, but as he pulls my jeans off my feet, and stands to take off his own bottoms i look up and him, and he’s fucking glorious. There is not a boy in the world more beautiful that Simon Snow, and he’s standing naked in front of me, sun glinting in his auburn curls, cheeks flushed, golden skin glowing. I’m sure i can manage to figure out what to do with him.

 

I fumble in the pile of clothing beside the couch for my wand. “Put your fingers in your mouth,” i tell him, “and touch yourself again...i liked that.” He blushes even deeper, but does as he’s told. He’s a vision. A fucking archangel. Fingers in his mouth, eyes closed in bliss, stroking that gorgeous cock. I really am going to die of this.

 

“Now come here,” i tell him. I’m trying to sound calm, assured, but my voice breaks. It’s hard to get words out when he looks at me like that. “Give me your hand,” i rasp. He kneels between my legs again, and i steady myself then cast “ **slippery when wet**.” I see his surprise when his fingers are coated in something slicker than spit.

 

“Cool!” he says. The moron…

 

“You can figure out the rest from here yeah? Just go slow, one finger at a time.” my chest feels tight _. We’re really about to do this_.

 

He grins again, “Yeah, i think i got it… I kind of… want to hear you say it again though.

 

“Say what?”

 

“What you want me to do... I like you telling me what to do.”

 

 _Oh...Okay._ “Simon,” i say, “I want you inside me.”

 

He’s not grinning anymore. His face is intent, damp curls falling against his forehead, eyes hungry. He gently places one finger against my still wet entrance, and i shiver, ready for him, desperate for him. Then he pushes inside.

 

**Simon**

Baz gasps, and then lets out a long slow moan and it’s the most erotic thing i’ve ever heard. He’s warm inside, smooth and slick, and i can feel his heartbeat. _Merlin._ I can’t help but groan, imagining how he would feel on my impossibly sensitive cock. I’m achingly hard, and i want him. I want to be inside him. I have to stop imagining that though or i might do something stupid; like get a nosebleed, or pass out. _Ok Simon, cool off, concentrate on Baz. Stop thinking about how amazing your boyfriend’s ass feels._

 

I feel him relax around me, and i start to move, pusing my finger in and out as he gasps with every thrust. He starts to jerk himself off slowly, his breathing ragged.

 

“More,” he gasps, “Please Simon, i want more.”

 

I add another finger and it’s like he’s pulling me in, his body desperate to take me. I start to move my hand faster, more roughly, curling my fingers inside him making him arch and buck his hips against me. He takes it, voice rising, jerking himself faster as he moans and quivers around my fingers. I take my own cock in my other hand and start to stroke in time with my thrusts, pleasure exploding behind my eyes as i think about what i’m doing, what i’m about to do.

 

I lean down to kiss him, filling his moaning mouth with my tongue, and add a third finger, stretching him further. I can feel him opening for me, pulsing and releasing as he relaxes to fit me inside. I bite his lip gently and the noise he makes is glorious. He’s so undone, so vulnerable. It’s amazing.

 

“Fuck me Simon!” he gasps. “I’m ready… ahhh! I want it!... I’ve wanted you for so long.” his voice breaks into a whimper at the end, and it pierces my heart like a sword. I’d do anything for him, for that voice, that desperate, beautiful face. And i can’t imagine wanting to do anything more than what he’s asking.

 

**Baz**

Snow pulls out and then collapses on top of me, kissing me deeply, filling each movement with passion and lust. “I love you,” he whispers into my mouth, “Anything.” _He loves me, Oh Merlin, he said he loves me._ I didn’t think he could disarm me any further, but i’m lost now. I’m completely his.

 

He props himself up on one elbow, lining us up with his other hand. His lips are bruised from kisses and his blue eyes hold mine steady, as he slowly, excruciatingly, starts to push inside.

 

And i’m burning, the fire in my belly exploding, lighting me up like a pyre.

 

**Simon**

He’s so tight, so gorgeously warm. His whole body is tense beneath me, every chiseled line shaking as he takes me inside. His eyes are squeezed shut now, but i’m still staring at his face. Watching his expression move from longing to ecstasy. The seed that’s been growing in my abdomen since i stopped him leaving, suddenly blossoms, and everything is pleasure, my world narrowing to a single point as i push deeper, slowly filling him.

 

**Baz**

It’s so much, i’m so full of him, and he’s still moving deeper. The slowness is excruciating, but there’s no pain, only building ecstasy as i take all of him. As he takes me. As we sink into each other. One being fused by flame and blinding pleasure.

 

I reach up and cling to him.

 

**Simon**

Baz’s arms go around my back and i just hold him, our hearts pounding, breathing ragged, Taking a still moment in this new oneness. I kiss him, deep and slow, pulling him to me tightly. My heart and my groin are both on fire, and i think either might explode at any second. I might go off. Lose myself completely. He’s too perfect.

 

**Baz**

Nothing has ever felt so right, and i never want it to end. The delicious stretch of him is burning me from the inside out, and he’s kissing me, and i know i’m shaking, sobbing; but it’s lost in the whirlwind that took my mind and all i can do it feel. Feel him. Everything is him. My whole universe collapsing in the sensation of his kiss, his skin on mine, his cock inside me. I want this to go on forever. I want to be part of him like this forever; but then he starts to _move._

 

**Simon**

I wonder when i started thinking about this. About Baz, desperate and vulnerable underneath me. About being able to feel every inch of him, every quivering muscle, every gasping breath, about being inside him. Feeling him, filling him.

 

It’s always a little hazy in my fantasies, just sensation, flashes of his perfect body as i stroke myself off, thinking about rocking into him. I bet Baz has imagined every detail, every possible configuration of us down to the minutia. He’s had a lot more practice thinking about this. But maybe i don’t need to think. Maybe i just need to feel. _Feel him_.

 

I bury my face in his neck and start to rock my hips, sparks flying in my mind and heat coiling in my belly as he _responds_. His whole body is tense around me, and he’s moaning, long and slow and hungry. I can’t control myself, i move faster, sucking his neck into my mouth, biting at his shoulder as i fuck him, pushing deeper, more desperate with every thrust. He feels like heaven, like life, like sinking into cool water and being being enveloped by rightness. He feels like a dream. He is a dream. I wonder how long i’ve been dreaming about him.

 

**Baz**

_Simon, Simon, Simon, Simon_ … His name on my lips is all that’s left of me.

 

**Simon**

I kiss him again. I love kissing him, even now, when it’s not the main event i love how his mouth feels on mine. My kisses are hungry, but his lips are soft, mouth open, moaning into mine. _Moaning my name_. Merlin and Morgana, i didn’t know he could be like this, so vulnerable, so receptive. It’s beautiful, and it makes my heart ache, seeing my ferocious vampire boyfriend laid open before me. I want to take him further, make him feel everything i have, my love and my need. I want to make him shake, and scream my name, and cum for me. I hear myself growl, and i start to fuck him harder.

 

**Baz**

I’m lost; utterly and completely lost. Snow is pounding into me, and each thrust is like thunder reverberating through my whole body. He is a storm smashing me on the rocks and i am shattered beneath him, his lightning crawling through me, electrifying every nerve.

 

I arch into him, incoherent noises tumbling from my lips as the pleasure inside me builds and builds. He’s hitting all the right spots, and it’s white hot, overwhelming. My cock is trapped in the friction between our stomachs, and just that is almost enough to bring me over. I want this to last forever, to take more and more of him, but it can’t, i can’t. I’m falling faster and faster, careening towards oblivion, as his rough thrusts push me deeper. I’m falling through flames, burning up, being absorbed by pleasure.

I hit bottom, and explode.

 

In an instant, the world around me ceases to be, and pleasure overwhelms my senses, ecstasy filling every iota of my being, body gone, mind gone, just blackness and bliss and him. My universe is pleasure, and Simon Snow.

 

**Simon**

Oh Morgana, i can feel it when he cums. Not just in the way he clamps down on me, digging his nails into my back, eyes squeezed shut. Not just in his primal cry and shuddering breaths. I can feel it from the inside. He’s pulsing, squeezing me with every shot, and it’s too much, he’s too tight, and i lose it too, hammering into him as the last traces of my conscious mind are consumed by pleasure and my whole body convulses, filling him. My orgasm crashes over me, screaming through my mind, and it feels like going off, like i’m infinite, made of power, and as the blackness consumes me all i can see is him.

 

**Baz**

Simon has collapsed on top of me, and i just hold him. I think we’re both too shocked to move, too used up. I run my fingers through his hair as our ragged breathing evens out. He’s shaking and i’m whispering that he’s beautiful, that it was amazing, that i love him. He sighs and holds me closer, gently kissing my neck (I think he’s got a fetish for my neck).

 

We just lie there, snuggled up, catching our breath; it’s tender, and sweet, and perfect, (and apparently i am disgustingly saccharine after i get fucked).

 

“Fuck... Baz. That was incredible,” he sighs. I nuzzle my face into his hair. It smells like cinnamon.

 

“Mmmm,” i agree, gently stroking his cheek.

 

“I can’t believe we just had sex on the couch in my sitting room.”

 

I laugh, that’s what he’s thinking about while i’m basking in the afterglow? Okay, “It’s a good thing Penny’s in America with her boyfriend”

 

“Baz, Penny’s not in America.”

 

“What? Where is she then?”

 

“I dunno, out?”

 

“You mean she could have just come home and walked in on us at any time!?”

 

“I guess so yeah. I wasn’t really thinking about it… I was kind of… distracted.”

 

“Simon Snow you are a complete idiot,” i tell him.

 

He grins, “I’m your idiot. Let's do this in my bedroom nex time yeah? Or at your flat?”

 

He said he’s mine. He said he wants to do this again. Earlier he said he loves me… _Oh Merlin, how am i going to survive this boy?_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
****

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! And thanks always to my partner for being my beta/editor, and inspiring me to try writing fic in the first place. If you're in the mood for more vampire boys, maybe check out her fic [Sugar Blood](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17864066).
> 
> This fic is named after [this song](https://youtube.com/watch?v=4zwCoJLsEFg)!


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